Superheroes Need Not Apply
Last Friday, I had the opportunity to teach a group of 200 or so smart, funny, successful and motivated business and non-profit leaders on the stories they would share during their alumni reunion weekend. When I asked the crowd what they had hoped to learn from the workshop, one person half jokingly asked, “How do you become the most interesting person without having done the most interesting things?”
I could’ve have planned it better. It was a perfect segue into our discussion.
Indeed, as much as a reunion provides a great opportunity to catch up with old friends and make new connections, the same event can also be a source of insecurity. How many of you have caught yourself thinking, “I’m not as successful as so-and-so?” Or perhaps you have been a stay-at-home parent and worry that your classmates just don’t consider parenting a legitimate job. Whatever internal narrative you might be churning in your head, the fact remains: You don’t have to be a superhero to tell great stories.
Don’t go by my words alone. Though not a screenwriter myself, I’ve benefited from the wisdom of story and screenwriting guru Robert McKee, whose former students have included 60 Academy Award winners. “Given the choice between trivial material brilliantly told versus profound material badly told,” McKee wrote in his acclaimed book, Story, “an audience will always choose the trivial told brilliantly.”
Viola! Isn’t it liberating to know that you don’t have to accomplish the most interesting things to be interesting? The most seemingly trivial experience can be a captivating tale, as long as you know how to work with narrative. This is a teachable, coachable and very learnable skill!
Here is a list of some of the life events the alumni in my session wanted to learn to tell stories about:
“First time managing a large team.”
“Working for the same co. for 10 years and growing it from 20 – 250 people.”
“Landing that elusive green card.”
“Deciding between forging own path or joining the family business.”
“A dream job turned into a nightmare.”
“Getting a big corporate role by accident.”
“Traveling on a plane with one toddler, two infants and two cats.”
“Trusting a young associate with a seemingly stupid business idea.”
No superhero stuff here. And yet, after applying classical storytelling elements to even trivial experiences, they can turn into compelling narratives that spark imagination and rekindle friendships.
Everyone had a chance to refine their stories using the classical story elements I introduced. At the end of the session, each table elected a “story hero.” These heroes, despite not having complete and polished drafts, stood up and told their stories in front of a group of peers, many of whom they just met for the first time. At one table, the entire group stood up with the story hero in solidarity. Other groups burst out in laughter. Still, others leaned towards the story heroes and completely rapt with curiosity.
Such is the power of storytelling!
I always feel like I learn more from my audiences than they do from me. The following quote from a former workshop participant captures the essence of telling stories at a reunion.
“The workshop helped me make my reunion interactions about reconnecting with each other’s humanity instead of comparing each other’s statistics. When discussions focus on listing accomplishments—kids, marriage, jobs, etc.—there isn’t much to talk about once you go through the list. Setting my outlook to offer my stories over my stats set the stage to elicit a similar response in people I talked to, which led to deeper connections. I left the reunion refreshed and inspired again.”
- Kimberly Matthews, GEMS II Venture Planner, ExxonMobil Chemical Company.
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