1 Single Step To Becoming A Great Storyteller
3 empty water glasses? Check. 1 large plastic bin filled with water? Check. 1 pitcher full of ice? Check. 1 tall vase? Check!
On August 28 this year, my guests had no idea what to expect. Prior to the workshop, they were told that “shutting up is best way to speaking well.” But what does water, ice, and a tall vase have anything to do with listening?
No, I wasn’t taking on the Ice Bucket Challenge (kudos to you if you did). Instead, I was demonstrating a simple but powerful phenomenon about listening. And it involved basic physics.
Starting with a tall glass vase already filled with water, I told my audience that I wanted to fill it with even more water. I proceeded. Water just overflowed out of the vase. Then, I tried using a different drinking glass to pour water. More of it overflowed. Finally, I told my audience that… maybe if I dumped a pitcher full of ice water with force, the vase would take in more water.
“Strangely,” nothing worked.
My vase demonstration illustrates a simple truth about physics and about listening. You simply CANNOT pour more water into a vase that is already full.
Similarly, you cannot truly listen when you mind is already full.
What does listening have to do with becoming a great storyteller?
“To become a great storyteller, one must first become a great story-collector.”
Listening collect stories. The more stories you collect, the better storyteller you become. I am not referring to listening for your turn to talk, listening so you can win an argument, or listening simply because it is the most polite thing to do. Rather, I am advocating for aggressive listening.
Aggressive listening is the mindful act of accepting the law of physics, that you simply cannot pour more water into a vase that is already full. Aggressive listening is also the brave act of doing the right thing by your audience, that you owe it to them to truly listen. But how do you do that when your mind is already full?
You can either empty the vase, or have a bigger vase, or best yet, do both! In practical listening terms, this means:
Nudge yourself to focus on the presence, or
Heighten your curiosity about your surroundings, or
Do both!
Be Present. When our minds are full, we tend to run in circles with our own thoughts, concerns, and in high speed. Slow down by taking a few deep breathes, feel and visualize your lungs expanding and contracting. Breaking away from computer screens – any screens – also gives your mind a break from your pre-occupations. And finally, take a walk! Most of us spend far too much time sitting, and unknowingly, endangering our long-term health. Get out of your chair every 90 minutes to stretch and walk (even in place) does wonders to emptying your mind. And whenever feasible, take a walk as you are conversing with someone. Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had involved walking and listening.
Heighten Your Curiosity. If you are busy observing your surroundings, you limit the amount and intensity of focus on yourself. Best yet, when you pay attention to your environments, you often do services to others. For example, at the listening training we had banquet style table set up. Chairs were placed in cresant style. But for some reasons, catering services gave us seven chairs but only six water glasses per table. No one noticed this oversight and the 7th person (often the last arrivals) at the table would have no way to drink water. Spend more mental energy noticing your surroundings and the people in them, and you will have also expanded your mind!
Have you met someone who seems to be in tune with your thoughts and empathize with your feelings? Some even understand your struggles before you are actually aware of your own challenges. Notice the positive feelings you associate with these people. They are aggressive listeners! Most important, you are much more receptive and open to them. In other words, they are more influential on you. Wouldn’t you want to be one of these influential people who are truly in service of their audience?
So, challenge yourself to focus on the presence and heighten your curiosity. This is one single step to become a great storyteller.
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