“Tell Me About Yourself” How To Kick Off Interviews With Intriguing Stories
When I conducted my first few admission interviews ten years ago, I made the mistake of asking open-ended questions such as “Tell me about yourself.” What meant to be an ice-breaker question often times took candidates 10-15 minutes to answer. In a few extreme cases, it took them 20 minutes in a 50-minute interview.
Later on, I wised up and inserted the word “briefly” my introductory question. Though the responses became shorter, all I got were verbal versions of applicants’ resumes. Over the subsequent ten years, I have learned that very few people, no matter their seniority and industry, know how to answer “Tell me about yourself” in brief and brilliant ways.
To most interviewees, this universal opening question became something to get over with, rather than an opportunity to intrigue the interviewers, and set the tone of the interview. Well, there is a much better way and it only involves two principles:
1. Most people know that interviewers are subconsciously looking for candidates whose background and qualifications remind them of their own. The question is what do you, as interviewee, do about it?
2. Curse of knowledge. The idea that once you know something, it is nearly impossible for you to imagine what it is like to NOT to know. You know your personal history and career progress. But your interviewers don’t. Your answers might make perfect sense to you but to your interviewers they are scattered stars in the sky waiting for individuals to make sense of what they are seeing.
How do you respond to “Tell me about yourself” and don’t bore them to tears? The answer (and it might surprise you) is telling a story. It is not just any random story, but one that involves structure, intention and sense-making. Like any good story, your response to “Tell me about yourself” should be framed in three parts.
Part I Think of a specific incidence in your life that involves a shared experience. This shared experience can be anything, a teacher who believed in you, family dinner, summer road trip, or a neighborhood bully.
Part II
Tell your interviewers what this incidence has meant to you, personally.
Part III Tell your interviewers what this incidence will mean to them and the organizations they are representing.
Let’s read through this example by a good friend of mine, Kelly Standing, who is an upstanding author, speaker, and speech writer. I will de-construct her story afterwards and see how it fits into the 3-Part framework.
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“Tell Me About Yourself.” by Kelly Standing
Life has knocked me around … a LOT … but I’m one of the happiest, most resilient people you’ll ever meet. The bumps and bruises started early. When I was six years old, the neighborhood bully used my own jump rope to hang me from a tree by my neck! He left me there to die … just dangling, with my little red Keds barely off the ground. [PAUSE]
Fortunately, my dad came along and saved me just in time.
I’m sure, at the time, all the typical questions crossed my dad’s mind … “Who DID this??!” … “Where IS he?” … “Where’s my baseball bat?!” … [HUMOROUSLY] “How quickly can I clobber the kid and hide the evidence?”
But my dad, the Eagle Scout, asked an even better question. … a question that would SAVE the day instead of beating up the bully and making matters worse. My dad asked himself, “How will my daughter remember this?” … He forced himself to focus on what REALLY mattered to him in that moment — me.
“Will Kelly see herself as a victim, with a bully hiding behind every tree, waiting to string her up by her neck? … or … “Will she see herself as strong, resilient, able to handle anything that comes her way?”
That series of questions changed EVERYthing. On that day, my dad convinced me I was the “luckiest little girl on our block.” He convinced me that, “Your scars make you MORE beautiful, not less so. Your scars tell your story.”
From that one episode I learned to ask good questions. Later, I went on to the University of Missouri School of Journalism, where they taught me even more about asking good questions. That’s what I do for my clients today … I bring a journalist’s curiosity and an Eagle Scout’s ingenuity to their business problems. I help them tell new stories about themselves. I help them see possibilities where they might see only pain. I help them ask better questions.
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Part I of Kelly’s story began with the incidence where her neighborhood bully hung her from a tree, and ended with her dad saving her just in time. The actual story was a lot longer than the two short paragraphs that it took her to tell us. In fact, the entire story is written in a chapter of her memoir, “I’m Still Standing.” But in an interview situation no one has the luxury to use up that much time, so she has to be brief.
The brilliance comes in Part II and III.
In Part II, she tells us how her dad handled the aftermath of the situation and what he taught her about the situation. She embraced his approach whole-heartedly. Her story is every-parent’s-nightmare, but more importantly, she did not dwell on what actually happened. Instead, she talks about what it has meant to her, personally.
In Part III, Kelly talks about how she has leaned to ask good questions since that incidence. In fact, she went to journalism school where they taught her even more about the craft of asking good questions. Notice here how she tucks in her credential. Her qualification all of a sudden makes a great deal of sense and is very memorable. Most importantly, she highlights one of the values she will bring to her interviewers and their organization: Asking good questions where people only see pain.
Does she have more to offer than that? Of course! Though her story doesn’t convey the full range of her skills and experience, she has done a superb job intriguing her interviewers, set the tone, and invite interviewers to follow up with other good questions. And this is much, much more effective than regurgitating your resume.
So, how would you re-craft your response to “Tell me about yourself?” Send me your draft and I will be happy to provide feedback!
Note: Special thanks to Professor Laura Rivera and Professor Robert Cialdini whose research inspire my work!
